I picked up my baby girl from nursery school one day and on our way home she asked me, “Mommy am I dopted?” I wasn’t sure I had understood her question and asked, “Why Topino?” (Little Mouse) “Because only I have yellow hair!” Amongst the five of us our Goldilocks was and is the only one with yellow hair; both her siblings and her parents have different shades of brown hair.
That day at school they must have talked about adopted children since there were a few in her year’s class. It must be a difficult concept to understand for a four years old, and observing the uniqueness of her hair color our Brainy Blonde (she was born and is one!) must have concluded she too was adopted. “I seem to remember somebody kicking in my tummy at all hours.” I told her. “I thought the little baby inside me was practicing to become a great soccer player one day*. Then I went to the hospital and came back with the most beautiful baby I could wish for!”
I proceeded to show her pictures of her American grandmother and Italian nonna, both true blondes, and pictures of her nonna as a child and young woman; whom to these days she resembles in an astounding way!
I wanted her to understand that adopted children are adored by their parents; I didn’t want her to think that her adopted little friends were less precious to their adoptive family than she was to hers. I explained that people adopt children for multiple reasons but they choose to do it and to give a loving home and upbringing to a child who otherwise might not have one. She seemed to be reassured; probably also by the fact that she, with her unique yellow hair, had come from where her darker hair siblings did, but surely her very caring little heart was satisfied to know that her adopted friends were loved and cherished as much as she was!
*The baby in my tummy was not kicking to practice soccer but to rehearse pirouettes, grand jetés and become a beautifully talented performer.